Well I have finally come to a settlement with Chris regarding our daughter. Not exactly what I wanted because I wanted her all the time. I am selfish in that way, but I love my daughter so much. I made a choice that I thought was best for my family . Not everyone agrees and it does hurt me. I was given advise and the thought of spending less time with Taylor rippped my heart out. It was shire panic. I have never had a panic attack , but last night had one. I felt like some one was ripping my heart out and punching me in the stomach. The pain was unbearable. All I could do was cry and I couldn't stop. I know I am a great mom. I know I messed up at the beginning and that is why I have the out come that I did. When I get like this I just want to lay and sleep. When I get down I don't eat or drink anything. It drains me mentally and physically. I am hoping to bounce out of my funk soon. I need support not be told that I was wrong . I plan on running tomorrow atleast 5 miles. I am looking forward to feeling better and enjoying the greenbelts with Taylor and maybe Bill if he joins us.
I hate to be told that I am weak. I'm not weak. I can put up with anything. I am a true beleiver in karma. So I hold my head up high knowing that I am a good person. The good guy never finishes first though. But I can go away knowing that I am a good person with a great heart.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I was just lazily bouncing around the 'Net this afternoon and all I can say is this, "I am glad to count you and Bill as true friends." I don't get to see the two of you often - last time at Rocky Raccoon - but it is a pleasure each time.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the good guy will finish first in the end. I believe that is something that God will take care.
And I know about great hearts ... they get a hurt a lot more because they're bigger and have more to give. :)