East End Park

I had a nice quiet run out at east end park. I have started running alot more and I feel much better these days. I have all changed my eating habits! Lot more veggies!
I'm hoping that these changes will help cheer me up real soon. I am desperate need of some smiles these days.

Sunshine

The is shining all the time . And it keeps getting warmer. I love it when it rains. I wish that I would have been able to run in the rain the other night though. Good thing I didn't though. I may have ended up swimming. Not too much going on . Went for a run in The Woodlands the other day and ran with Karen. Some people she runs with joined us. I have never been to these trails so it was a nice change. I even saw a armadillo. I love seeing those little guys. They can move so fast! It was a very nice trail with lots of turns and some little hills. I really need to pick my running back up. I have been a big slacker these days. What is wrong with me!! I have a goal for myself but need to look at the races that are going on. But I think that I am going to try my hand at doing a 50 miler. Of coarse only when it is cooler. And I want it to be in Huntsville. I really enjoy that park and running it. We will see how things unfold for me and what lies ahead.

Is my mind going???

I have a lot on my mind these days. I thought a nice walk in the park would help. Which it did. It was so peaceful sitting on the bench looking at the water. I even managed to dooze off for about 20 minutes. I just sat there looking at Taylor climb this very strange looking tree. It had the perfect spot to just sit and relax and that is just what she did. I am going to miss my Taylor so much. She is going to visit Chris for the rest of June, but will be back the first of July. This is on my mind.

I need to make some personal changes in my life. At times I become very needy and don't know why. I need to learn to back off and give people their space instead of being like a little dog always nipping at the heels. I do care a lot and sometimes it takes on its own form and it is overkill. Sometimes being too nice is too much. I can't change who I am and can't say I want to. But I can modify it. will work on that next.

Next thing I need to change is the job situation. I need to make more money. I love the school but it has put a financial burden on me and my family and I have to make a change. I loving being able to spoil my loved ones.

My Nana has been sick and is definatley losing her mind. I wish I had more time to visit her. But it does hurt to see her that way. Afer Shyanne died I think I put up a mental block of some kind. The other day my Nana said she saw Shyanne. After hearing that a wave of sadness took over. I don't tell people but I miss her. Even as I write this I am crying. She was so smart and funny. After finally saying it I even feel better now.

LOVE

I have love on the mind. I give it and I love receiving it. It is the best feeling in the word to be loved and to give it. I say it and mean it. What does love mean to me? How do you express love? Or even put it into words? The feeling I get from loving someone is indescribable. The first time I met Bill I got such a feeling of excitement in my stomach. To this day I get the same feeling everytime I see him. It is amazing. The love a mother feels for a child is nothing I can describe.
My definition of love is caring about someone so deeply that my life would be very different with out them. There would always be a little piece of myself missing if they passed away or left me. My life is incomplete when you are away and I would do anything to protect you or to make you happy.

“Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you’re in love, you always want to be together, and when you’re not, you’re thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete” (Sophocles).

LP RUN

LP Run

Well tonight I ran this run called the LP Run for the first time. It consisted running around a track as much as you can in 33:32 minutes. I went in their confident but soon found my ass handed to me. It is bad when you are lapped 4 times by a 60 year old. Funny thing is I didn’t do that bad. A little over 4 miles. After about my 4th lap I started to see spots. It was so hot. So I tried to pace my self and did pretty good. I would have liked a fast mile.

Well in the end I must not have done too bad cause I managed to win 1st place in my age division. You should of seen the look of surprise on my face when they said “ Andrea Cox.” I am in a weird age bracket, but I hope to speed up my time and win some more, Maybe some gift cards or something would be nice. I am going to keep on training. The only thing that will stop me is this heat. It is getting a lot tougher to go run. I really enjoy my long runs still at the slower pace. I’m not giving up on being a distance run yet. I will be able to hit that 30 miler one day. All is good with the knee. Actually it feels great. It is so nice to not have that pain. I feel like I am getting back to my old self.

I know deep down I was born to run. As a child I had a natural ability to run. I always excelled in it. In school being named Most valuable in track and in cross country. I should of never given it up for as long as I did. My dad wanted to know when I was going to run my next race. He wants to come and watch me. He said he misses me and loves seeing me run. My parents were always so proud of me and enjoyed seeing me excel in everything that I did. I always was a winner when it came to running though. That is how I got the nickname Rabbit because I was so fast. Wish I was that fast again. I guess age has caught up with me.

Trolley Run

It was a great weekend! Well I say that because I had time to relax . I miss my babies being home and look forward to having them home soon.

Bill, Shaina, and I ran the Bellaire 5K Trolley run on Saturday. It was so hot! I was happy with my performance. My time was 24:35 . It shows me 7th in results but it looks like their was a male put in their so I am saying I came in 6th in my age bracket. I wish I would of placed. And that is my down fall. I think I could of gave just a little bit more and I could of placed. I will place next time for sure. I want one of those little trolley's.

All in all great weekend. I love being outside and this is one of my favorite times of the year. Bill and I had a wonderful 4 mile run today. I love running on the trails. I feel so relaxed and enjoy the scenery. The smell was wonderful. It took me back to being in Pin oak and walking through the woods. I loved going there as a child and walking through the woods looking for arrowheads . For my dad the best part of being in the woods was being one with nature and him screaming "You have to shit in the woods". Or he thought you should run naked through the woods. Never did but I always get a good laugh out of it.

It was a great day

Well I am starting to feel better and I am accepting my schedule with Taylor. All though it hurts I only want her to be happy. I don't understand how courts can say this is best for a child. To me it seems like a bunch of jumping around. All though it is 50/50. I wish I had more. I have to learn to move on and understand that my baby loves me no matter what and I will always be her mom. And no one will ever take my place.

I had a great run with my sweetheart. I am running more trails in preparation for my 30mile trail run. I know it must drive Bill crazy but I can just stare at him all the time and be happy. It is a feeling that I can't describe. I have married my true love. He may not ever understand but I did know 11 years ago that I loved him. I was always so excited to spend time with him and talk to him. And to this day I still get the same feeling when I am around him. I get so excited and happy inside. It is the best feeling and I know it will never end.

I feel wonderful and I am looking forward to a great weekend with my family. Fun times are ahead.

Lonely blogger

I feel like my blog is my personal diary. If you don't write much in it people don't follow it. Which I think is good at times. I think with my heart and not with my brain alot. I have decided that being nice gets me no where. I guess I have to learn to be a bitch. Wish me luck. I am going to need it. If I could go into a room I would want to scream right now.

Taylor is sick . I hate the fact that I have to send her to Chris's sick. He doesn't know what he is doing. He will push the responsibilities to someone else as usual. She needs her mom. And wants her mom. I guess I will learn how to deal with it.

I was hoping to have a nice run with Taylor and Bill but it isn't going to happen. I guess I will spend my time running the treadmill. I get so bored on that thing. But at least I won't freezer. Any way I'm going to try to blog more.

My heart hurts

Well I have finally come to a settlement with Chris regarding our daughter. Not exactly what I wanted because I wanted her all the time. I am selfish in that way, but I love my daughter so much. I made a choice that I thought was best for my family . Not everyone agrees and it does hurt me. I was given advise and the thought of spending less time with Taylor rippped my heart out. It was shire panic. I have never had a panic attack , but last night had one. I felt like some one was ripping my heart out and punching me in the stomach. The pain was unbearable. All I could do was cry and I couldn't stop. I know I am a great mom. I know I messed up at the beginning and that is why I have the out come that I did. When I get like this I just want to lay and sleep. When I get down I don't eat or drink anything. It drains me mentally and physically. I am hoping to bounce out of my funk soon. I need support not be told that I was wrong . I plan on running tomorrow atleast 5 miles. I am looking forward to feeling better and enjoying the greenbelts with Taylor and maybe Bill if he joins us.

I hate to be told that I am weak. I'm not weak. I can put up with anything. I am a true beleiver in karma. So I hold my head up high knowing that I am a good person. The good guy never finishes first though. But I can go away knowing that I am a good person with a great heart.

Racoon and Roots

Well I ran 25k this morning. The mileage wasn't what was hard, but tripping on all the roots has taken a toll on my knees. I have never in my life had issues with my knees and tonight I feel like a 100 year old woman. With one mile left in the race I actually had to walk some because my knee hurt so bad. But me being who I am couldn't finish like that so I put a smile on my face and took the pain. In my mind I am thinking: I'm not a quitter , Suck it up. It is only a mile more. But at one time I actually thought I was going to cry. But I didn't.

Maybe the knee pain is from all the stumbles that I had on the coarse. It was about 10. I never fell though. Enough about the bad though. I will say I loved running on the trail. It was so peaceful and felt that I enjoyed it most when I had no one around me. And I do love to run down hill, unfortunately you must go back up though. Still was nice. At the end of the race we receive a nice black plaque. I according to watch I finished in 2:42. I thought that was pretty good.

Now to Bill. He has put me to shame. He ran the 50K!!! So my race is a kiddie run compared to his. As everyone kept saying :did you run the " Little Race". And I'm thinking when did running 15miles become a little race. Well I guess compared to 30 miles it is. I am so proud of him. I can't tell him too much cause it will drive him crazy, but this is my blog so I can cheer for him over and over. I was so excited just watching him line up for the race. I was thinking to myself : hey that is my fiance and he is running a 50k. How awesome is that!! The whole time I was running and enjoying the trail I wanted to be running with him. He has made me want to try and run a 50k. It may be awhile but I will get there. He will never know how much he inspires me. He has so much drive and never gives up. He is my rock. And I am the luckiest person in the world.

Rainy days make me sleepy

Well Bill and I ran a half marathon yesterday. Let me back up and give some history first. I ran my first half alittle bit less than a year ago. Never in my life did I think that I would ever be able to do that. Now I have ran 3 and did 2 of them 2 weekends in a row. Running is good for my mind. I can't describe it but when I run there is no noise, just peace. And I feel so relaxed. I love being outside and especially in the woods. If I could move I would. Maybe when the kids are older I can. All I need or want is just a small little house with a porch on the front. I am very simple and enjoy simple things.

Even though it rained today, my run was good. I am very heavy on my feet . Bill has given me a tip so may be that will help. I can feel it in my running. My ankles feel weak and I feel as if I have a lazy leg. Like I am limping. I have never had any issues legs wise and hope to never have them. All though as a child I did have some heel issues when running.

My wedding day is getting closer. I am so excited. I am marrying the person I have always wanted to be with. It is the best feeling to wake up everyday and not want to leave that person's side. I know I talk alot but I could just sit and stare at Bill and be as happy FOREVER!!!

It's been a long time

Well it has been a long time since I posted anything. So let me sum it up :
- I ran a half marathon last weekend. It was tough! It was around the Sam Houston campus in Huntsville. Lots of hills, but I did it with a time of 2hours and 1 minute.
-Still off the meat. I am doing good with that.
-Bill went hiking with his friend Josh and Olga. I was so glad when he got back home.
I missed him. I enjoy the time we are together.
-Met with Taylor's attorney. I know this is out of my hands now and someone will be deciding where my girl lives. I will have to live with the decision and accept whatever that is. I know in my heart though that I am the better suited one. I love her no matter what. I the end I just want what is best for her.
-Wedding plans are going great. I can't wait!

So that is what has been going on in my life this past week. Had a good run today. But I am tired I was looking forward to sleeping in this Sat. , but it isn't going to happen. We are having our garage sale. Oh well. And then on Sun. I am running a half again. And you know that is early. I have got to slow down the pace. I get crazy and want to try and win. I am a natural competitor. I need to keep my mind on the marathon though.

I love this saying"Pain is temporary,Pride is forever" I shouldn't say it when I am running. Makes me want to try and run faster. LOL

" I was Running!!!"

What a great day running. Bill and I did the USA 10 Miler. I didn't even feel like 10 miles. I could of kept going. We pushed Preston in the stroller . While the girls hung out with April and Zoe. Tom did his first race. He is really fast. I was happy with my time. Bill helps me so much. usually when I am in a race I take off like a mad women, but he helps me control that , Thank go or I would never make 10 miles thats for sure. After that I ate like a hog. And I couldn't stop.

Kids had to go back to Erin's and Taylor goes back to her dad's on monday which stinks. It is going to be too quiet in the house.

I have th best family around. I couldn't ask for more.

Big Mouth

Where do I start. I have opened my mouth again without thinking. This happens alot to me. And I always tell myself it won't happen again. Just don't talk. I never seem to say the right thing. I really don't care to elaborate much more. Cause as usual I may be saying to much.

But here is the thing. I never mean anything bad by what I say. And I only try to do what is right and some how I am always wrong. I shoud take my own advise and just not talk.

I'm done for now. don't feel like talking

Green is Spreading

Taylor came home from school yesterday and annouced that she is going green. I was so proud. She is really into doing her part in saving the earth. They have a club at school that she is joining that focuses on going green. I'm sure she will bring home some great tips to the family. She is very much into riding her bike. She is ready to ride it in the morning to daycare! I told her give it time and we will see.

Had a nice run on my legs. They feel so much better. The cold soak did what I needed it to do. I have really learned how important shoes are. I would have never know this if it wasn't for all that Bill has taught me. He teaches, coaches, and supports me.And he is my best friend. For the first time in my life I share everything . I share with him things that I have never shared with anyone . And for me that is a big thing because I have a big mouth and for me to keep something quiet is very hard. I usually share things with my mom and sisters but he knows things that I have never told a soul.

I have said it time and time again but I have such a great family. Bill, my kids, they make my life what it is!

Home Sweet Home

My girl is back home and I am so excited. I love it when she is with me. It is how it should be. I miss her so much when she is gone. I have made so many mistakes with dealing with her father that I hope I haven't messed things up. This is where being nice gets you! I can't change who I am. But I am learning to not let people run over me. It may take awhile , but I will get it.

I had a bad run. My legs are never sore, but today was another story. Even my knees hurt. After a 4 mile run on the belts with Taylor and Bill it was time to come home for a cold soak. And man it was cold. After that I needed a hot shower to get warm.

So far so good with the diet. Thanks for lunch Bill. It was yummy.

Lazy Day

What a lazy day. I guess the the weather does that to me. Bill and I didn't roll out of bed till late today. I hate that. I feel like my whole day is wasted when I do that. But we did have a great expereince at Luke's Locker. I just love that place. The customer service is beyond great. I love stores like that.

When we got home we went for our run. It was humid and sprinkled the whole time. We decided to wear old shoes. Not too great of an idea. But we finished the run. Here we come Marathon!!

Memories

Bill and I got up early this morning to run with Kingwood Fit. Bill as been telling me that I really need to run with a group for my long runs. Me being me and not listening I usually run alone. But I will admit that I enjoy the company.

It started off a little rough this morning but the run turned into one of my best runs. I could of gone for more miles. But the schedule called for 9. And they were great. With about a mile left to run I started to talk to this lady and we got on the subject of the Run for the Rose. This then got me talking about Shy. I also learned that the lady's husband has a brain tumor.I always want to give words of hope , but find it very hard too. Just the mention of Shy's name makes me cry. I found myself the last mile just wanting to cry, but held it together. I miss my sister so much. And I think of all the things she could of done with her life and how unfair it is. She had so much to offer. I know that life isn't fair, but it still stinks.

After our run Bill and I headed over to REI for the garage sell. I just love that place. And we always find such great deals.

And then the unthinkable happened. We went to eat. As Bill's order came out I saw he had chicken on his pizza. I didn't say anything, just thinking that maybe he had a reason for ordering it. My mistake!! He figured it out after eating it. Sorry. What a great day filled with lots of laughs.

Ringing In My Ears

I thought I was a head of the game this morning (sub. wise) but found out at my new job how quick things can change when someone calls in sick. Thank goodness for Rory. She help me put the pieces together. And then it was time to start ringing the bells. All manually. It wasn't like when I went to school. They have a whole new system and it is confusing at times. It just goes to show how long it has been since I was in school.

No running today. But a big run tomorrow. 9 miles. I am looking forward to it. Just one step closer to my marathon. People ask me a lot why I run. To me running helps clear my head. I feel so relaxed and calm during my run. I usually have a lot on my mind and running gives me the time I need to think about things that are going on. And if I have something that is bothering me it usually is gone by time I get back. Sometimes I wish I could just keep on running. And of coarse it helps with keeping my weight down . Which makes me super happy.

I was so happy to get home and talk to Bill. He listens to me rattle on even though I know I irritate him at times with my non-stop talking . I can sit there and talk about nothing. I guess I am really talking a lot these days too. I think that is because I am new at work and I am really shy when it comes to meeting new people . Thanks for putting up with me Bill.

I can't wait til next week when all the kids are home. I miss them.

First Time For Everything

Today is the start of new things for me. First, this is my first blog. Next is the start of my vegetarian diet. And this week I have started a new job with the Humble ISD.

Bill and I decide to try a vegetarian diet for many reasons. I think the transition will be really easy for me. I have always enjoyed soy products and love vegetables. I thought at first the hard part would be going to restaurants but now when looking at menus almost everyone has something that will work. I am looking forward to the challenge.

As for the new blog, I love to read others and have been keeping little notes attached to my running calendar. So Bill suggested that I start a blog. Which is a good idea being that maybe I will write more instead of talking all the time. And if you know me , you know it is almost impossible for me to be quiet for even 10 minutes.

My new job is good. The only thing that is in the back of my mind is that I hope I made the right decision leaving Total Surveyors. I enjoyed being around Kevin and Heather. I miss talking to Kevin everyday. For 6 years I talked to him 5 days week for 8 hours a day. I saw him more than I saw my own family. And now I haven't seen or talked to him in a week. But I will say I do love getting home early. I know it was the right choice. I will get to spend more time with Bill and Taylor now. And I won't feel so rushed when I do get home.

My life is great !